Brief letters to people who are pissing me off

Dear Flexible spending account reimbursement processor: When I call to check on the status of the claim that I faxed to you on April 20, which was well before the processing deadline of April 26, do not tell me that my claim was entered into the system on April 27 and that it will be processed on the next processing date of May 11. The reason I fax my claims to you is so that I can make sure they are received before the processing date. The fact that you all sat on my claim for a freaking week before bothering to enter it is not my problem. And do not act as though you are doing me a favor by cutting me a check "out of turn" which will result in the money being automatically deposited into my account next Wednesday (May 4.) It's still almost a week later than it should be. You've done this before. Even when I re-fax the claim, with a confirmation of the original date you received it, you try to put me off until the next processing cycle. Do your damned job right the first time and I won't have to make a fuss. Dear Departmental Director who reports to my boss: When I call to ask a question about how to charge the training for your department, and you have already struck an agreement in which my budget code is covering everyone, and I tell you that I will make a note of that and revise the PO accordingly, do not continue to harp on the fact that you should not be charged for the training. I said I would change it. I will change it. The only reason I was having to call and ask you about it was because you did not meet the deadline of COB Tuesday, which is when I was supposed to have the information from you. And you did not respond to my message on Wednesday or my message yesterday asking you for the information. Just shut up. Dear Department Head whose office happens to be nearer to my desk than it is to your own adminstrative support person: Just because you are right behind me and because my boss is happy with my support abilities does not mean you should call me into our office when you have a question about how to work your computer or use a MS Office application. Just because you choose to treat your administrative assistant as though she has the mental capacity of dish soap does not mean that she really is stupid. When she comes into the office and tells you exactly the same thing I just did, it is because she is much smarter than you give her credit for. Use your own admin. Don't bitch about her lack of professional development if you are not willing to use her professional abilities.