Well, at least I know how to tap dance

I'm in a quandry. One of DH's brothers has had a life of health problems. While I don't wish any of his struggles on anyone, even someone I really can't stand, I also don't think he's provides a very good model for dealing with adversity. He's whiny, and because of his health problems he doesn't hold a job (even though I know plenty of people with the same struggles who are very productive members of society.) He mostly leeches off of his parents and complains about how hard his life has been. Somehow he has convinced a good friend of his from college to help him write a book about his life, about how sports and humor have seen him through his difficult times. He sent me a questionnaire for use in developing the book. Some of the questions are things like "What is your first thought when you hear the name [BIL]?" and "What has it meant to know me?" and "A funny story you can remember about me and/or your thoughts on how I use humor in how I deal with my medical situation." He asks how his experiences and knowing him has changed my views on the medical condition he suffers from. When he sent me the survey, I put it aside, trying to decide whether to respond. I don't have a lot to say that would make a difference in the book. His experience hasn't changed me, because my feelings on the topic have been the same for most of my life. I know other people who have the same issues he does, so his situation was not a revelation to me, it didn't expose me to anything I wasn't already thinking about. Some of his friends from the charity events involved with his condition are much more inspirational than he is (most of them are, actually.) So, I did nothing. Last night at dinner he asked me again about the survey, whether I had gotten a chance to fill it out yet. I said I had not, and told him that I didn't think I had much to contribute. I advised him to go ahead without my input. He insisted that he wanted to get everyone's response before going to the next phase of the writing, which is interviewing the closer family members (DH, MIL, FIL, etc.) So. Do I try to make up vague answers that will maintain family harmony or do I tell him that I don't feel comfortable answering the questions because I don't think they will be all that flattering? I don't want to end up being quoted or have views that aren't really mine represented in this book. I also don't want to go on record as being the cold and heartless beeyotch who would refuse to support her BIL. What to do, what to say?


Anonymous nic said...

Say the vauge things that will preserve family harmony, and say them in such a trite and inane way that you won't be quoted.

3/28/2005 4:13 PM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

Keep forgetting until he stops asking.

4/07/2005 9:39 PM  

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Who's Who

    Hubby- aka DH My husband since 1995. He is the head of the band department at a college prep school, and dabbles as a wanna-be pop star.

    The Princess- aka DD. Third grader at the local parochial school. Loves butterlies, sparkly things, the color purple and has recently developed a crush on one of the twins from "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody". Is ready for her teenage years, having already perfected her exasperated sigh and dramatic eye-roll.

    Hoss- aka DS1. Kindergartener and resident spirited child. His aunt likes to call him "the evil genius" because of his penchant for letting a lack of intellectual stimulation lead him into mischief. Likes trucks, sports, building things and burping. His current favorite word is "underwear."

    Lil Joe- aka DS2. Born in 2003. Doesn't say much we can understand, but has mastered the important stuff ("eat!", "Wash hands!", "Want chocolate ones!", "Hockey game!") Likes to push buttons, much to the consternation of whoever is trying to watch a DVD. Firmly refuses to use the potty, despite evidence that he is physically ready to be out of diapers, indicating a level of stubborn that eclipses even that of his parents and siblings.

    Me? I'm the Mama. That's all you need to know.

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