Vagueness and randomness

It's been over a week since I posted, and it's mostly because everything I've thought about posting since my whiny, downer post last week has seemed sort of lame. But, here's an update and some assorted thoughts for anyone who is still tuning in to my dorkfest. DD is not totally maladjusted, nor do her teacher and school counselor think I am an awful mother for raising such a drama queen. The teacher's main concern was actually in regards to some handwriting and coordination issues that she thinks may be inhibiting DD's ability to keep up on class, and she wants us to have her motor skills looked at by the pediatrician to possibly start her keyboarding instead of writing things by hand. The only embarrassing moment was when the counselor mentioned that DD is "somewhat of a worrier" and DH looked pointedly at me, with a "gosh, where could she have gotten that tendency?!" look on his face. Heh. DS1 got sent out of gymnastics class again this week, but he was allowed to come back. So, again, I'm worried for nothing. Shocker. I went to the crazy doctor (I mean, doctor for me being crazy, not a doctor who is crazy himself.) And I talked to him for about an hour about what the anxiety and the worry about what people think of me and the whole blahdeblah (using my wedding reception meltdown as an example) and it helped. And he told me to start revising my self-talk when I started feel my worries escalate- to remember that it is OK that I talked to him about everything, and that he had dealt with these situations before. All I can think of, though, when I attempt to revise my self-talk, is "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And, doggonit, people like me!" So, this whole therapy thing may take some getting used to. Liz recommended homemade macaroni and cheese in the comments from my last post. I didn't have any, but I did the next best thing- I pulled out the grilled cheese cookbookthat Nic gave me for Christmas, and got some inspiration for a good lunch on Saturday (I went with turkey and cheddar on oatmeal bread, with some cherry jam.) Then, after lunch, I let the kids play on the computer so I could watch the next entry in my Colin Firth film festival. I'm angling for a promotion at work, although it probably be at least four months before we can create a new job description and have it happen. And it will be a good thing, since it will get me off out of the "adminsitrative assistant" box into a position that has a more visible path for advancement. Right now, the only step up on my career ladder is to wait for one of the Executive Assistants to retire and take her job. (Someone asked me if moving to support the next level of executive would be my dream job. Yeah, if by "dream" you mean "hysterical nightmare from which I wake up in a cold sweat with my heart racing.) But I suddenly realized today that my current boss is the only one I've ever had who acknowledged me on Adminsitrative Professionals' Day (or whatever the current PC term for "Secretary's Day" is), and as soon as I got promoted I'm going to lose that. Bummer. I still want the promotion, even if it means I don't get taken out to lunch. Why is it always the good bra that fits just right that has the clasp break, not the nasty uncomfortable one with the poking underwire that looked good in the One Hanes Place catalog but was totally wrong once it arrived? Just like how the way-too-dark pantyhose that I ordered at the same time are indestructible, but the perfect-color ones that make me look skinny (the ones I order by the gross) get runs in them as soon as I look at them. My friend Jen is training hard for the Komen Breast Cancer 3 Day, and I'm sure she would greatly appreciate any financial support anybody can give her. I did the walk three years ago (I can't believe it's been that long!) and some of the discussions we've been having lately have brought back a lot of memories. It's an incredible cause, and the walk was an intense experience for me. I'm really proud of Jen for doing it, because it sure isn't easy, but it's vitally important. Wow, I guess I had more to say than I thought I did.