meta-obsessing

I think I need to stop being so neurotic about how neurotic I am. At the wedding reception on Saturday, I had a klutzy moment. I slipped when cutting some food, and proceeded to shoot chicken with mango salsa right off my plate, into DH's lap. A normal person would have been slightly embarrassed, but continued with the meal after picking up the mess. Not me, though. I was suddenly convinced that the entire table was staring at me in horror (the whole table- that would be DH, Nic, MrNic and my parents), so I burst into tears. Which, of course, was going to make everybody stare at me further and make me more embarrassed. Which made me cry harder. I had sort of gotten myself back under control when the waiter came by and offerred to get me a drink- "...some water, or a soda perhaps?" Great, now the staff thinks I'm drunk 20 minutes into lunch. DH asked me later why I had reacted so strongly, completely not accepting the explanation of how embarrassed I was. He gave me a look as though he thought I was nuts. I guess I think I am, too. I've replayed the moment thousands of times in the past two days. I can't stop obessessing over how stupidly I overreacted. And how stupid I am to be obessessing over it.