Hubby has begun his summer vacation, and is doing the grocery shopping in exchange for me letting him do a bike ride yesterday afternoon. So, when I made the shopping list this week, I wrote down items that I would not normally write down for my own purposes (i.e., the stuff we need every week, like milk and bread) as well as whatever we had run low on.

Setting: MamaKaren's desk, Cubeland. [phone rings] MamaKaren: Good morning, this is Karen. Hubby: Hey. Where's the grocery list? MK: On the fridge, under one of the fruit magnets. H: Ok, here it is. Bread...milk...lunch meat...cereal...lemonade...iced tea...crackers...juice boxes... MK: Anything else you need, or can I go back to typing the quarterly report? H: Do I need to get anything else? MK: If they have anything we want on sale, like the kids' yogurt or your razor blades or whatever, get that. Otherwise, no. H: Alright, I'll...[muffled] Here, talk to Mommy. Lil Joe: hawu[urqv pigjur Mama: Oh, did you draw a picture? Lil Joe: No. cbzncvbz bickinaus Mama: You're having bacon?! Lil Joe: No. yurgwdyq widdel Mama: It's little? Lil Joe: Yes. t verqt yq keythen Bye! Hubby: He has a Mickey Mouse picture on his shirt. Lil Joe: Pretzel! Hubby: You want a pretzel? OK, here's a pretzel. MK: How are we fixed for pretzels? You may need to buy some of them, too. And if you want chips or anything. H: OK, I'm going to the grocery store. Bye.

I return to editing the report ("Department is being managed by VP pending conclusion of a search for a new staffer, now in progress, is concluded"? Do people read their submissions before sending them to me?). Oh, how nice, we have dueling edits from the powers-that-be about when to include names and when to use generic staff language. This is fun.

[phone rings] MamaKaren: Good morning, this is Karen. Hubby: Hi. Do we need eggs? MK: Ummm...I don't know. H: I forgot the list. MK: Well, buy a small package of eggs, and I'll hard cook them if we have plenty at home. H: I don't see the small package...let's see...here they are. Grade A, large, package of 8? Is that right? MK: Yeah, that's fine. H: Ok...we'll get milk. June 25th? Is that OK? MK: That's fine. H: What should I get at the deli? Lil Joe: CHEESE! Hubby: No, we don't need cheese. Princess, go get a number. What should I get? MamaKaren: When we all need lunches all week, I would get three-quarters of ham and three-quarters of turkey, so get a little less than that. Lil Joe: I wuv cheese. H: We have ham at home, but I don't know if it's any good. How about chicken salad? MK: Get chicken salad if you want. You should probably get some cheese. Hoss eats a cheese sandwich every day, and Lil Joe eats a lot, too. Lil Joe (singing): Cheese, cheese MK: What's your schedule like this week? Use that as a guide for how much to buy, you know, depending on whether you're fixing lunches at home. Hubby: I'm at home with two kids, that's my schedule for the week. We have a lot of cheese at home. MK: OK, your call. But ask the deli person to give him a slice of cheese, or he'll probably be upset. I don't think he's ever seen me go to the deli and not buy cheese. H: OK, that's all I needed. Bye.

Anyone want to place bets on how quickly we run out of cheese this week, or how many bags of jalepeno potato chips he comes home with?