When bathroom fixtures attack

No Mama likes to see her children get hurt. I take no pleasure in the misfortune sometimes suffered by my offspring. But there are moments during which offering comfort instead of laughter is very, very difficult. I woke Hoss up and told him to go potty and get ready for school. A few moments later, some very loud crying. When I ran to the bathroom to see what had happened, I saw him standing in front of the toilet, sort of leaning on the tank (as he sometimes does when he is pretending that he is too tired to stand up and pee properly) but the seat was down. "What's wrong?!" I asked frantically. "The toilet hit me on the nose!" he cried. It seems that as he leaned on the tank, he managed to hit the seat and it clunked his nose as it fell. I checked for bleeding or bruising (of which there was none) and calmed him back down. But now we're all afraid of the plumbing. You can never be sure when it'll just snap and issue a beat down.