I'm one bad mother (shut yo mouth!)

Yesterday Amalah posted a list of pregnancy confessions. I identified with pretty much all of them. In that vein, here is a list of some of the awful things I've done as a Mama since giving birth. Confession is supposed to be good for the soul, so here goes... Sometimes I tell DS1 that there isn't any more vanilla soy milk because I want to save the last of it for my latte the next morning. The toys I find annoying are the ones that "disappear" when they don't get put away. The ones I think are kind of cool always make their way to the toy box. I've managed to convince DD that a dinner of fish sticks/chicken tenders, carrots and cheese cubes is a treat- I call it the "finger dinner," but I really serve it to her (on a paper plate) so I can avoid doing dishes. I've also managed to convince DD and DS1 that going to the car wash or the yarn store is fun. I dressed both of the boys in pastel bodysuits when they were babies, just because I still had them on hand from when DD was a baby, and I wouldn't have to do laundry as often. I sometimes lie to DH about where I bought clothes from if he thinks it's strange for DS1 to wear his sister's hand-me-downs ("But honey, it came from the boys' department anyway!") As far as I'm concerned, if it isn't pink and doesn't have ribbons, hearts or butterflies on it, it's unisex. I make the kids put their Halloween/Easter/Valentine's Day candy in a communal basket in the dining room so it's easier for me to snitch. DS2 ate pretzels for dinner last night. Just pretzels. Sometimes I let him eat Goldfish crackers for breakfast. When I go out for a haircut or other errand without children, I almost always stop and get myself a coffee drink or ice cream as well. When DH asks if it's OK for him to go out to a rehearsal as soon as I get home from work, thus leaving me on my own for dinner, I act as though I'm doing him a favor when I am really inwardly rejoicing that I can eat on the couch while watching TV and I let the kids play on the computer until bedtime. Sometimes I'm too lazy to press DD's uniform, so I just toss it in the dryer with a damp towel to fluff the wrinkles out. I claim that I am buying Scooby Doo fruit snacks because the kids like them, but I eat most of the box myself. Teddy Grahams, too. And frosted animal crackers. I frequently let the kids sleep in their clothes instead of changing into pajamas, especially on weekends or vacation. Sometimes I use regular clothes as pajamas (sweats or pull on shorts and a t-shirt) with the intention of not having to dress them in the morning. I pretend to be asleep with the kids come into our room on weekend mornings to ask for drinks or want us to find the remote for the DVD player. I have, on occasions too numerous to count, said that my children are a perfect advertisement for birth control. If I were a nanny, I'd be fired for that. I've told DD that she was acting like a brat. This is what inspired her to ask "Are you going to send me there? 'Cause I don't think I'd survive" when a teaser for the Brat Camp came on during The Wonderful World of Disney. So, I've spilled my guts. What do you have to confess?