Again with the stuff

I'm not so good with dealing with stuff. There's a lot of stuff at work. Mostly normal stuff, but I still have to try really hard to motivate myself to do it. And the kids have school stuff, like Princess' teacher wanting to meet with us (most likely because she works as slow as molasses and therefore has to spend an hour finishing up classwork at home in addition to doing her actual homework), and Hoss' continued outbursts (which are improving but are still prominent enough for me worry about). Hubby is having a tough time because of work stuff and worrying about his dad's situation, and the loss of two of his friends on the Transplant Games team (one died a month or so ago, and BIL spoke at the funeral. The other was only 23, and his transplanted heart just gave out last week). And then a big sore issue raised its ugly head again, in the form of the fallout from something I thought I'd taken care of awhile ago, but I hadn't, not really. This is stuff that happened before the mess blew up in my face, before Hubby and I had a blowout of a fight and then got all of our cards on the table and figured out what to do to fix the problem. And he's upset because he thought it was done rearing, but it popped up again. And I'm upset because he's acting as though nothing's changed, even though many things have changed and he is fully aware that they have- that I have. And if he says I'm forgiven, I can't have it thrown back in my face. He can't throw stuff back at me (even though he has a right to be upset when an obstacle pops back up) because it's not an obstacle that popped up because old habits die hard, it's an obstacle that popped up because events don't just wrap up into a neat little bow when they come to light, sometimes they have ripples. And I'm upset because he can't see that the reason the problem grew to the point it did was because I was afraid of him behaving or reacting in a certain way, so I tried to do the right thing without his help so that he wouldn't have to be the one to make sacrifices or take care of it, and instead I found out that I couldn't rectify the stuff on my own and he reacted in the exact manner I feared he would, a manner he said he would not have reacted in if he had been able to help me earlier. Except I don't think he would have reacted differently. Which is a moot point anyway, because I didn't involve him with dealing with the stuff early enough in the process so that he could have reacted differently. And we've taken a step backwards in the grand plan. And it's a small step backwards, but he's acting as though it's a giant step. And there is more stuff coming down the pike. There is stuff about Lil Joe's schooling and the changes necessary to make it happen. And there are details related to those changes that we need to know in order to plan, details that may eliminate some of the obstacles. But if those details cannot eliminate the obstacles, the alternatives must be examined and possibly implemented earlier than is feasible. And if the alternatives are implemented, but the details can eliminate the obstacles, it may not be possible to use the details to their full advantage. And there's no guarantee that the alternatives will work either. They may be better than the original grand plan. But they might not be. And he is looking at the half empty glass of alternatives and is angry at me that I tell him that I don't see a glass to look at yet. In any case, I'm feeling like I'm not very good with dealing with the stuff.


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Who's Who

    Hubby- aka DH My husband since 1995. He is the head of the band department at a college prep school, and dabbles as a wanna-be pop star.

    The Princess- aka DD. Third grader at the local parochial school. Loves butterlies, sparkly things, the color purple and has recently developed a crush on one of the twins from "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody". Is ready for her teenage years, having already perfected her exasperated sigh and dramatic eye-roll.

    Hoss- aka DS1. Kindergartener and resident spirited child. His aunt likes to call him "the evil genius" because of his penchant for letting a lack of intellectual stimulation lead him into mischief. Likes trucks, sports, building things and burping. His current favorite word is "underwear."

    Lil Joe- aka DS2. Born in 2003. Doesn't say much we can understand, but has mastered the important stuff ("eat!", "Wash hands!", "Want chocolate ones!", "Hockey game!") Likes to push buttons, much to the consternation of whoever is trying to watch a DVD. Firmly refuses to use the potty, despite evidence that he is physically ready to be out of diapers, indicating a level of stubborn that eclipses even that of his parents and siblings.

    Me? I'm the Mama. That's all you need to know.

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