Fun with stats and search strings

Sometimes I wonder sometimes about my readership (in a "I wonder who is reading my inane ramblings" not a "I wonder about them because they are not normal" kind of way). My stats show that someone logging in through the Central Intelligence Agency is reading. Which is probably not a big deal, since anyone who was investigating me for the CIA would be more subtle than that. Unless they want to throw me off by making me think that they aren't investigating me. Hmmm... And apparently I'm very big in Scandanavia- I get a fair number of hits from Norway and just recently got one from Denmark. None from Finland yet, despite the fact that I talk about Hubby's band every so often, and they have quite a Finn following. I've also been checking out my search strings. Most of my readership (60 something percent) doesn't come from search engines, and another 8-9% comes from some search related to the eight Polish foods of Christmas Veggie Tales song. For your entertainment, here are some other searches that have led people to my site:

• "i just got my car washed and my airbag light came on" Next time try the touchless car wash, dude.
• "You'll strangle the baby with the umbilical cord" I will not!
• "flat tire karen" Yes, that's me. Some folks go their whole lives without changing a tire, I've changed at least one on every car I've driven.
• "but a few kids in high school told her she was uncool" Actually, more than a few
• "how to keep lint off pants" Let me know when you find out, 'cause God knows I don't know how
• "how to slice bagels" Ditto. I've got the scar to prove it
• "What's in kielbasa?" I don't think you want to know
• "why can't I attract any boys?" How the hell should I know?
• "lean cuisine causes allergic reaction" Is this the new ad campaign for Weight Watchers frozen meals?
• "franzia vs. almaden" Hmm, that's up there with "root canal or corporate retreat for your afternoon plans" as far as decisions go
• "being uninvited to his parents for christmas" For some people, that's a happy holiday
• "lousy mom" Um. Thanks.
• "schmutzy pants" Fine, I'll buy a lint brush
• "gigantic red zit" There's not much for me to add to that
• "parenthood sucks" Not always.
• "night the lights went out in georgia why did the sister shoot" I've been trying to figure that out for years
• "does anyone have sandwiches for thanksgiving" Yeah, my sister does. She can make a sandwich out of any meal
• "hate my in laws" Well, 'hate' is a really strong word...