I have a confession to make. I am a snotty pain in the butt when it comes to charity. There. I've said it. I've owned up.
I try to make contributions, money or time or advocacy, for a number of causes. I raise money and participate in charity walks for all sorts of ailments
. I donate clothing to shelters. I buy toys to give to the Marines
at Christmastime. I add that extra couple dollars to my grocery bill to go to the food bank.
Lately, though, I've been almost rude to some requests for charity. Here are some recent phone conversations I have had.
[one ringy dingy]
Phone Bank Chickie: Good evening, Mrs. H, this is BigNationwideCharity (not Purple Heart
, who is always nice to me). We will be in your neighborhood on Saturday and will pick up one bag of clothing or household items, where is the best location for you to leave it?
MamaK: I'm sorry, I don't have anything this mo...
[click. dial tone]
[one ringy, dingy]
Overly Perky Guy Whose Voice I Do Not Recognize: Hi, Karen! How are you this evening?
MamaK: um, fine thanks.
Perky Dude: Have you been happy with the service you get from your police and fire fighters?
MamaK: Sure, I guess so.
Perky Dude: Great! We'll be sending a pledge card to you to support your local police and fire fighters! Can I put you down for $50 or would you like to give another amount?
MamaK: I really can't give anything right now...
Perky Dude: Many of our local officers are killed in the line of duty each year. Don't you want the widows and orphans of our fallen comrades to be cared for? Don't you feel as though you should support the men and women who protect your community and keep you safe? [Isn't that part of why I pay taxes? For public services like the county police and fire departments? Do these police officers and firefighters not have life insurance?]
MamaK: Yes. And the police officers in my own family know that I am supportive of the people who protect and serve. They also told me not to give you money that is probably going toward union dues. good-bye.[click] (OK, maybe that was rude. But it's also true.)
[one ringy, dingy]
Call center person: Hello, is Hubby'sFullFirstName available?
MamaK: No, he's not.
Call center person: Is this his wife?
MamaK: It is.
Call center person: Wonderful, perhaps you can help me. [blah, blah, long winded explanation of the cancer charity that is not the National Cancer Society, and how they think it is important for cancer patients who do not have insurance to be able to get their medical treatment.]
MamaK: I'm sorry, we're not in a position to donate anything at this time.
Call center person: Oh, you don't have to give me an amount now, we will send you a postcard in the next few weeks for you to send in your donation. What amount works for you?
MamaK: We're not in a position to be committing to a contribution right now.
Call center person: [Heavy sigh] Well. Thanks. Have a nice evening.
So, basically, because I get my feelings hurt, all the good causes can just suck it.
Follow up- OK, I want to point out that it is a complete coincidence that Rude Cactus posted this account of people being obnoxious in the name of charity on the same day I decided to complain about it.