How I make my parents proud

Bourbon Congratulations! You're 130 proof, with specific scores in beer (80) , wine (166), and liquor (86).

Screw all that namby-pamby chick stuff, you're going straight for the bottle and a shot glass! It'll take more than a few shots of Wild Turkey or 99 Bananas before you start seeing pink elephants. You know how to handle your alcohol, and yourself at parties.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 57% on proof You scored higher than 76% on beer index You scored higher than 99% on wine index You scored higher than 79% on liquor index

Link: The Alcohol Knowledge Test written by hoppersplit on Ok Cupid

I'm not sure how a wine score that equals the beer and liquor combined would make me "bourbon," but whatever. I don't even know what 99 Bananas is, and I haven't done a shot of anything since before I got pregnant the first time (and, no, doing shots did not facilitate my getting pregnant.) You know how to handle your alcohol, and yourself at parties. One hundredsomething pound Karen+ no opportunities to go out partying= quick drunk, so this was kind of this was kind of funny. The way I know how to handle myself at parties is to only let Captain Morgan join the Diet Coke in alternating drinks, thus seeming to drink twice as much as I actually have. Maybe watching all the drunk people for all those years gave me some knowledge as well as those blackmail photos...