Family resemblence

I had a job for a few years at the same company at which my mom worked. We used to eat lunch together, and she often passed my workstation at the front desk when on her way to her boss' office, so we got a lot of chances to talk. My grandmother used to drive her nuts by calling in the middle of the work day for no particular reason, or with a reason that seemed way too trivial to merit a workplace call. Then she would want to chat, as though Mom were at home on the couch instead of behind a desk surrounded by financial statements and bank reconciliations. I used to hear about how my retired grandmother had obviously forgotten about what it meant to have deadlines and a boss and work-related responsibilities. I also heard about how Nanna would impart information in passing (about a life event of a family member, or about an upcoming appointment), but be offended when Mom didn't remember have heard the news. I would listen to Mom rant about Nanna, and her vows to not be the same way. Now my grandmother is having health problems (as people in their 80's tend to) and my semi-retired mother is being sandwiched. She cares for my son three days a week, and shuttles the elder generation (Nanna and my great-aunt) to doctor appointments and such on the other two. Nanna can't get around the way she used to, and her children are trying to make her understand that she may need to move out of her house. She is also not eating the way she should, and her children are doing their best not to enable her candy and cookie habit. Eighty-plus year old people can be cranky when they feel that they are being displaced, and sometimes they take it out on their children. After one of my many phone calls from Mom, in which she called to tell me something I needed to know about DS2's day, but the call turned into a litany of what was going on in the outside world ("...and I talked to Jean about the tree that fell. Someone is going to come tomorrow to take it away, but I think we need to look at getting the other ones cut down as well...There's a new dog at the dog park, but the owners need to take it back to obedience class. He's just so hyper- even worse than your dog...Your father's plane was delayed for almost 2 additional hours, so he was exhausted by the time he got home..."), I called Nic to blow off steam. Once I hung up the phone, after we joked about which one of us was going to be kicking Mom out of her own house and which one of us was going to refuse to buy her the cookies she wanted, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The words that came out of my mouth for most of the phone call echoed in my head. But it was my mother's voice, as we sat in the company lunch room together, that I heard. I've already turned into my mother.


Post a Comment

<< Home

follow MamaKaren at http://twitter.com

Who's Who

    Hubby- aka DH My husband since 1995. He is the head of the band department at a college prep school, and dabbles as a wanna-be pop star.

    The Princess- aka DD. Third grader at the local parochial school. Loves butterlies, sparkly things, the color purple and has recently developed a crush on one of the twins from "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody". Is ready for her teenage years, having already perfected her exasperated sigh and dramatic eye-roll.

    Hoss- aka DS1. Kindergartener and resident spirited child. His aunt likes to call him "the evil genius" because of his penchant for letting a lack of intellectual stimulation lead him into mischief. Likes trucks, sports, building things and burping. His current favorite word is "underwear."

    Lil Joe- aka DS2. Born in 2003. Doesn't say much we can understand, but has mastered the important stuff ("eat!", "Wash hands!", "Want chocolate ones!", "Hockey game!") Likes to push buttons, much to the consternation of whoever is trying to watch a DVD. Firmly refuses to use the potty, despite evidence that he is physically ready to be out of diapers, indicating a level of stubborn that eclipses even that of his parents and siblings.

    Me? I'm the Mama. That's all you need to know.

    Wanna contact me?
    Send me an email.